Monday, October 12, 2009

Nightmare

So I had a nightmare last night/early this morning that Bjorn died.

We were in some sort of cart/cage type thing suspended on cables, 300 feet in the air, at what I assume was a Bon Jovi show. Late in the show I noticed Bjorn was sitting on the outside bar of the cart, watching the big screen behind us. I got nervous, as he was facing the outside, and before I could reach out to pull him inside the cart, he moved. It seemed as though he was readjusting himself, but his arms were crossed, he had no support, and he slid right off the bar.

It was something straight out of a movie: everything went silent, I couldn't even hear the band, as I speechlessly watched him fall 300 feet to the ground. I remember watching and mentally telling myself to prepare for the fact that once he hit the ground, he'd be dead. He finally slammed into the ground and lay sprawled out, and I watched from 300 feet above in sheer horror...he lifted his head briefly, then fell back down, and I remember screaming and grabbing for the cables to lower the cart to the ground.

The people on the ground were screaming and the paramedics were there suddenly...his body was bruised and bloody (obviously), and I remember a few fingers were missing on his left hand...the paramedics rushed him onto the gurney and into the ambulance, and I followed, crying hysterically.

They did several surgeries, and I was just waiting in the waiting room with Katie...I guess Mom didn't even know what happened until the next day when I emailed updates to Katie and Mom read them over her shoulder (??) I stayed in the hospital with Bjorn that night and I remember holding his right hand (with all fingers, although severely bruised, intact) and telling him not to "leave me".

The dream broke up a bit then, but it ended with him dying in the hospital...and I woke up literally shaking and crying and sick to my stomach. After I woke up enough to realize it was a dream, I grabbed my cell phone and lo and behold, there were two text messages from him, which made me cry even more because it was proof that he was alive.

He called me and I told him the whole story (and broke down twice more, remembering the details), and I felt a bit better after he promised not to get into any cable carts or sit on the edge of anything 300 feet in the air.

But I can't shake the dream from my mind - it was SO vivid. I've never had such a vivid and detailed dream of death like that, and it has me utterly freaked out. :(

Wondering how to get my mind off of it...

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