So, I graduated college.

If you are reading this and DON'T know that I graduated, please come out from under your rock. I'm actually late in posting this entry, because of several reasons:

1. I've been exhausted and lethargic, wanting to do nothing but play games on my new laptop.
2. I haven't really known what exactly to write.
3. I still can't believe I'm a college graduate.

But I, Rebecca Lyn Mahan, am indeed a college graduate. I finally completed the coursework for a Bachelor of Arts degree in Journalism at California State University, Northridge, and the pretty little diploma will arrive within 8 weeks. And I graduated with honors (cum laude).

It was a bit anticlimactic, graduating in the middle of summer. Most of my friends finished at the end of the proper quarter or semester term, so they celebrated before or around the month of May. My fellow Class of 2011 friends at CSUN walked in the ceremony they held in late May, of which I was not a part because I saw no reason to haul my family 150 miles up north at 8am to sit in the valley sun and listen to 800 other names they didn't know. I couldn't have cared less about the ceremony...until the morning of the ceremony. Then, sitting in my bedroom in San Marcos reading the happy messages from my fellow graduates, I was miserable. And I deeply regretted my choice.

So, I didn't walk. I think a part of me will always wish I had, but thankfully that's not the important part. The point is that I finished - and I finished strong.

It was a VERY difficult four years (+ summer term). As many of you know, I had quite a rough and tumble road to travel, battling debt and no job, car accidents, (minor) medical/health issues, school drama (administration/admissions and records battles), personal drama, and the constant homesickness and loneliness, missing everyone from my family to my friends to my boyfriend. Sometimes I look back on it now and wonder how the hell I survived.

The answer is simple: my family, my friends, my boyfriend, and my roommates. I NEVER could have done it without any of them...and yet, only my roommates were the ones physically there. My family kept me sane over the phone, my boyfriend over Skype, my friends when I saw them over summer and at Christmas, and my roommates while I was there. I'm a firm believer in love and social ties, and mine saved my life these last two years, especially.

I entered college as an excited and ambitious 18y-year-old, fresh out of high school. I couldn't wait to taste the adventures of college, dip my feet in the pools of experience. I was standing on the edge of a rooftop, waiting for the winds of adventure to pick me up...but first, I had to get ready. Two years went by relatively quickly, as I stayed at home and ventured no further than the city limits of my own hometown.

Then, as a 20-year-old, I took a leap and moved away from home to the northern valley of Los Angeles, in Northridge. My first time ever living away from home, and I struggled. I struggled a lot. I can't tell you how many tears there were, but the same can be said for laughs with the new and wonderful friends I made.

I worked hard. I took full loads of classes, studied hours on end, and practically lived in the library during the second half of my final semester. I maintained a minimum of a 3.5 GPA, and was selected as a member of Kappa Tau Alpha, the national journalism honor society.

My roommates all lived locally, so they went home almost every weekend. So I spent weekends alone up there, staying in my pajamas all day and sipping glasses of wine in front of a movie during the lonely nights. I locked myself in my room at bedtime and sometimes lie awake until the wee hours of the morning, either unnerved by being alone in the dorm, or annoyed by the constant noise around me: car alarms, screaming drunk students, music-playing neighbors, loud parties, and thumping upstairs, downstairs, and down the hall. I DO NOT miss those times.

I do miss my roommates and other friends, though. They kept me sane, and enriched my life in so many ways, with late-night talks or mid-morning cries, post-it notes with inside jokes taped all over our walls, spontaneous food runs, Hollywood adventures...or nights spent inside, watching My Big Redneck Wedding and laughing so hard we woke up with sore abs the next morning. I'll always look back on those times and smile.

But it's time to move on, I guess. As much as I love all those who entered my world in Northridge (and we will keep in touch!), my stay there was meant to end in July 2011. It was time to be done: move out of the dorms, submit the final projects, sign the papers, and walk off that campus once and for all...a college graduate.

Everything happened for a reason. I knew that, deep down, the whole time - but it was too damn hard to accept that fact when I was separated from everyone I loved and only wanted a hug from one of them. But my hard work paid off, and I finished.

Now life begins. It's strange, isn't it? During those two years, I felt like I was in a dark tunnel, and the light at the end was only a tiny speck of hope. It felt like it just stayed the same size, never getting closer. And every setback made the light look smaller. It felt like I was just standing still, and I'd never get to the end.

And now, here I am. Finally. Those tumultuous years are behind me, all the papers and tests and studying and STRESS are over. I closed my books for the final time. I am the proud owner of a Bachelor's degree.

Now, on to Europe. I'll be moving to the Netherlands to finally, finally live with Bjorn after nearly 5 years of being apart. I'll try to find a job teaching English, I'll get to travel and see far-off places, and I'll keep writing.

Everything I fantasized and dreamed about, everything I held close to my heart as reward for the stress and hard work I went through is finally happening. I'm standing on the edge of a rooftop; the wind is picking up.

I'll jump soon. And who knows where the wind will take me, but I'll enjoy the ride.